To VBAC or Not to VBAC

To VBAC or not to VBAC-I thought it was a catchy title:-)  It's actually not a question.  I'm not looking for advice, or opinions, or support.  Not that people's advice or opinions are not welcomed it's just that  I've already made up my mind (oh my gosh I think I made a decision on my own)!

I had an emergency c-section with Nate.  After 20 hours of labor-3 of those pushing, I had a c-section.  And to be honest, it was the scariest thing I've ever done.  Mainly because I didn't no what to expect nor had I ever had surgery.  Why did I have a c-section?  His head was larger than the norm and I couldn't, for the life of me, push it down any further (like I said I pushed for 3 hours and his head was stuck) and he was 9lbs 4oz (enough said)!!!!  I'm still praising the Lord for my c-section! 

I did have some complications-my epidural didn't fully take and I felt alot of pain and discomfort.  I also lost A LOT of blood and was very close to having a blood transfusion.  When I think back on my c-section I think it went great, I really didn't dwell on the things that didn't go great (ie. the pain).  When I first heard that sweet little cry I knew my world was perfect!  I knew nothing..and I mean nothing, at all mattered.  The pain and discomfort were the last things from my mind.  And the moment I first looked into his eyes...wow what a moment.  It didn't matter that he was born via c-section.  That moment wasn't taken away from me because I was lying on bed with my guts hanging out and that I hadn't delivered him "naturally" (vaginally).  It's that moment I live for.  That moment of holding my babies for the first time.  Seeing them for the first time.  Kissing them for the first time.  Smelling them for the first time.  My birthing experience with Lincoln (who was born vaginally) was no different than my birthing experience with Nathan.  They both were extraordinary and special in there own ways.  Yes the recovery was alot better with Lincoln (for obvious reasons) but what mattered most to me was knowing my babies were born safe and healthy.  Isn't that the most important thing? 

There will be almost 21 months between this baby and Nate.  I know the decision is mine-to attempt a vbac or to plan a scheduled c-section.  I know no one will make this decision for me.  And if you know me decision making isn't one of my strong points.  But I have made my decision and I've made it by myself (with some advice from the doctors).  I will have another c-section.  And I'm OK with that! 

Why?  Well at my first doctor's appointment my doctor went over the options.  My only question: "what's safest for the baby?"  Her answer: "c-section"  OK then I've made my decision.  I've based my decision solely on what is best for this baby and that is my number 1 priority.  I know there can be risks and complications to both options and I've done some research.  But I fear my uterus rupturing and something happening to the baby.  

I haven't completed ruled out a VBAC-my reason for not ruling one out?  Well anything can happen.  Anything is possible.  Heck I could deliver this baby in the car on the way to the hospital.  For me I never want to rule anything out when it comes to labor and delivery.  Expect the unexpected.  But as of right now I will have a scheduled c-section and that is where my mind is at.

Is this the right decision?  When it comes to delivery I don't think there is a right or wrong decision.  I think it is a decision that every woman who has had a previous c-section has to make.  I know everyone has their reasons and I respect that.  For me I think I am making a good decision.  I have more anxiety about the thought of attempting a vbac then I do about a c-section and with that I find comfort in my decision.

To me c-sections are the norm.  Majority of my friends have had c-section and I've had a few friends that have attempted a VBAC but I don't think I actually know anyone that has had a successful VBAC (if you have please let me know)!

I'm actually looking forward to having a c-section.  My hair and make-up will be done...and with that said I now will probably go into labor in the middle of the night before my scheduled c-section date and my hair and make-up will not be done.  I won't have to worry about being overdue and my stomach stretching to it's absolute maximum (like it did with Nate).  My bags will be fully packed and I won't be left scrambling for things (unless this baby comes early, again I need to expect the unexpected).  And..........we aren't finding out what we are having this time around!!!  Who wouldn't be excited for a c-section!  I love knowing!  Love it love it love it!  And I love when other people find out what they are having!  I'm an impatient person so for me this is testing my patience abit but surprisingly I'm super excited to not find out.  In fact I'm kinda worried that they are going to let it slip at one of my doctor's appointments or when I have my ultrasounds!  This time around I thought not finding out would add some excitement to having a c-section.  And I kinda wanna know what it feels like to hear "It's a...."!!!  Oh the excitement.  And if you ask Lincoln it's a girl baby.  And he told me he's not just guessing,  he knows!  Well little buddy we'll see if you're right but if you ask me you are having another little brother:-)

Here's a link to our online babypool if you want to make a guess!  On the left hand side where it says "Invited Guests" type in familyedwards and then click GO.

An unforgettable moment!