Meet the Teachers

Today was "meet the teachers" day at Lincoln's pre-school.  He's met them once before but today was the official meeting day and the realization that soon, very soon, my little boy will be in school three afternoons a week.  Bittersweet.

He asked me to take a picture of him in front of his new school.  So I snapped a few and he says to me "one more."  That's my boy:-) 

All I can say is that I am so blessed and so happy that Lincoln is in such a great pre-school with such amazing teachers (aren't they all?:-)!  His teachers radiate love and patience.  Bless their hearts.  And bless them for being in a room with so many 4 year olds without going crazy.  All pre-school teachers need a pat on the back! 

And the tear jerker for me is when his teacher said to me "we feel so honoured that you trust us with your son."  I had to repeat to myself "hold it together, hold it together...this a a pre-school meet and great!" as tears pooled in my eyes.   I hope she didn't notice.  I don't know why this process is so emotional for me?  Is it because I'm having to slowly let go?  Is it because he's not always going to be with me?  Sometimes my kids drive me crazy. Absolutely crazy. But I always love that we are together.

I already know it...his first day of pre-school is going to be a "cut the cord" moment.  I will ugly cry...that is a given.  I will probably sit in my car and bawl like a baby.  I'll be a hot mess.  I'll probably sob the whole way home.  My baby is growing up.  But at the same time I know my heart will be leaping for joy for him.  He is so excited about school.  And I'm excited for him (really I am).  September 10, 2012 will be Lincoln's first day of school.  No longer will my little boy be home with my 24/7.  That makes me want to cry now just thinking about it.  That makes me want to shelter him and never let him go.  I don't know if I'm ready for this.  This whole "school" thing.  It's going to be the first "real" day where I have to let him go...into the care of someone else that isn't family or a good friend.  He's becoming more and more independent.  And I'm slowly letting go... 

I received a list of things we need for the first day of school:
-new Velcro, non-marking shoes...awesome
-a change of clothes
-comfort items in ziploc bag in case of an earthquake.

Yes a freakin earthquake!  What happens if there is an earthquake and Lincoln's at school?  That thought clenches my heart.  And the reality sets in that I will not always have Lincoln by my side.  He's going to grow up.  In fact it's happening right before my very eyes.  I honestly don't really want to think about that too much.  Why does time have to go by so fast?

I know pre-school will be good for him (or daycare as my dad calls it).  I know he needs it.  I know he needs time away from his brother and sister.  I know he needs to grow and learn and meet new friends without me hovering over him watching his every move.  This is his moment.  His first real steps into the "big world."  And I know there are lot's to look forward to...art work, stories about his day, show and tell and watching him grow academically.

This will be a new routine for us.  One that will take some adapting to.  I'm already a ball of emotions.  Oh boy...here come the tears...this isn't going to be easy (for me at least:-)

And I'll close with a cute little Lincoln conversation.
Lincoln: "mommy how do I stop growing?"
Me: "You can't"
Lincoln: "well what happens when I'm too big and can't fit into the house?"

The sweet innocence of a 4 year old.  I love it!

My BIG Day!

Yesterday was a big day for me.

 I quit my job.

Yes I'm officially jobless.  I guess it's not as bad as being homeless.

It's been a dream of mine since I was a little girl...to be a stay at home.  In grade 11 CAPP (career and personal planning) I even did my "career" on being a domestic engineer.  My teacher wasn't to thrilled.  But it's ALWAYS what I've wanted to do.  I only went to university to pass time while I was waiting for Kevin to marry me so we could make baby's!  I'm only slightly joking.

And yesterday my dreams became a reality. 

It's slowly sinking in.

And it's kind of a weird feeling.

Yesterday was nerve wracking.  I was so nervous.  My stomach was in knots.  I've had fears that I would regret my decision and I think knowing the amount that I have to pay back sickened me.  For me it wasn't a simple hand in my resignation letter and walk away.  Since my employer topped up my maternity leave the first two times and I didn't return to work for a minimum of 1 year after each maternity leave means I'm left paying thousands of dollars (roughly around 2 or 3 trips to Maui).  It sucks but it's the price we have to pay or else I have to go back to work for a year.  I knew this day was coming but nothing really prepared me for how I'd feel.  I was even a bit hesitant handing over my resignation letter.  I am now feeling very content with our decision for me to stay at home.  I know for us it's the right decision (and I know being a stay at home mom isn't for everyone).  And it's such a good feeling knowing I don't have to leave my baby's come November.  I can breathe abit easier now...although I did I have a "holy $&*# I just quit my job" moment in the car after I handed in my resignation letter.

My job was just that...a job.  It wasn't my career.  I enjoyed my job but I didn't love it.  Every time I returned back to work I was always looking forward to my next maternity leave.  And it just so happened I was always pregnant when I returned.

There are a few things I'm going to miss:
-driving to work ALONE with the music up loud, drinking my coffee-there is just something about being in the car alone that's kinda enjoyable.
-drinking coffee at my desk-it seems so work appropriate and grown up. I'm going to miss sitting at a desk with the aroma of coffee surrounding me.
-I'm going to miss office supplies.  I like office supplies and organizing them in my desk drawers.  Oh and the label maker-I liked to label things.
-Adult conversation-sometimes it nice to have a two-way conversation with another grown adult.
-And yes I'm kinda going to miss all my youth files and those crazy busy days where I feel like I'm a professional in the work force making a difference in the lives of others (those days were minimal).

I never really saw myself working.  Growing up I had dreams of being a teacher.  But I always saw myself at home with my kids.  When I got my job I had high hopes.  I wanted to be sophisticated and always professionally dressed and well groomed.  That was never the case.  I am not a morning person.  I always hit the snooze button one too many, I was always in a rush and I'd end up throwing on whatever clothes I could find.  I was always rushing out the door.   

All this wouldn't have come true if it wasn't for my husband. He knows I love being home with the kids and he knows how passionate I've been about being a stay at home mom. He's the one that made this happen and I couldn't be more grateful!  I'd like to believe that I've worked so hard and am rewarded with now being able to stay at home but that's just not the truth.  Yes I've worked hard but my husband has worked even harder.  He made this possible!  And I know he now has to carry all our finances on his shoulders.  Knowing that has made the decision to leave worker abit harder.  I enjoyed contributing financially.  I felt it was my job as a wife but I also felt it was my job as a mother to raise my kids (if financially feasible).

I think a part of me will miss working.  I think I'll miss it most on those crazy days.  But I'm looking forward to the the future and all that it holds.  Lincoln starts  preschool 3 days a week starting in September and I can't wait.  My baby's are growing up so quickly and I truly don't want to miss a thing. 

So today I sit and sip my coffee.   And the kids are playing contently (this is rare). It's my first day of being unemployed.  I think it will really start to sink in once my EI runs out and I have to start justifying my online purchases to my personal money machine Mr. Edwards. I hope he knows what he gotten himself into:-) 

Photo's

My house is uber quite right now...it's so peaceful!  London's napping and the boys are upstairs watching cartoons!  Yes I'm slowly allowing them to watch cartoons again!

I've got a dilemma.

I take a billion photo's.

And I like to get them printed (well all the ones I like...and I like almost all of them) and put them into albums.

It's so time consuming and it's getting expensive.  And these albums are taking up a lot of space. 

I've made a few photo books through MyPublisher and I love them.  And I'm thinking photo books are the way to go.  I just don't know if I'm ready to give up getting pictures printed.  I like being able to hold an actual photo.  MyPublisher usually has some really good deals going on).  The last book I had made consisted of 100 pages and tons of photos and it cost around $50 (that included shipping).

I've also heard Shutterfly is really great for making photo books too.  That's another dilemma-which company should I go with?  I want all the books to be the same so if I do decide to start making books I'm going to have to choose a company and stick with them.  One thing I like about MyPublisher is that their paper is thick and the pages don't crinkle easily.  I also find MyPublisher super easy to use.  I don't want to cheap out and go with a company that doesn't make good quality photo books but I also don't want to spend an arm and a leg making these books.

Hmm decisions, decisions.

7 months

My babies at 7 months:-)

I love comparing their photo's! 

I just can't believe how fast my little boys have grown up!

Lincoln

Nathan

 

London

I just came across these two photos-the first one is London at 5 months and the second is London at 7 months-this may be her signature pose:-)

5 months

7 months