Ahhh finally a moment to breath!  Deep breath in...deep breath out!  I've been a bit stressed lately.  Nathan is almost two...I think that's all I need to say.  He pushes my buttons and is testing my patience.  And my daughter refuses to nap.  Absolutely refuses.  She'll go the whole day without napping.  And I'm not joking or being sarcastic.  She really doesn't nap.  I got so desperate one day that I had Kev get the swing from our storage.  I haven't set it up but I may be getting even more desperate real soon!  I've silently panicked a few times.  I'm sure we've all been there-having those days with a newborn that doesn't nap.  I have visions of my future with a non-napping child.  It can be quite terrifying:-)  But on a happy note she does sleep at night.  In fact she's a fabulous night sleeper (knock on wood).  She usually goes down between 8 and 9 pm and then wakes up around 5-6 am for a feeding.  I know I shouldn't complain too much because I'd rather have a child that sleeps at night over one that wakes up every hour:-)  It's hard when she doesn't nap.  I right away blame myself.  Did I burp her?  Did I put her down with a wet or dirty diaper?  Maybe I'm not teaching her how to self sooth?  Maybe she just needs to be cuddled?  Maybe she wants to be near me?  And I swear-I've tried it all but all she wants is to be in her mamas arms:-)  I think she loves me!

Alot of people have asked what it's like with 3.  And all i can say is that I love it.  We definitely have our trying times...actually we quite often have our trying times but once the kids are in bed and I'm able to breath it really does put things into perspective.  Night time is also when I drink my coffee.  It gives me time to spend with Kev and clean the house.  And yes I clean my own house:-)  There is always a load of laundry that needs to be done, the toilets always need to be scrubbed and there is always something to vacuum off the floor (that's why it's always out).  And for the last 5 weeks I've been doing dishes by hand...and no we aren't using paper plates (huge ordeal with Samsung and waiting for our new dishwasher).  Taking all 3 kids out can be a handful...but it was a handful at times with 2.  I'm just waiting to get back into that groove.  We are still in that adjustment period and I know I'll get to that point soon where travelling with 3 kids is easy peasy!  I will admit I've had my moments where I've wanted to pull out my hair but I had those moments when I had 2 kids and when I had 1 kid.  Heck I even had those moments when I didn't have kids:-)

I finally made it out to Ikea on the weekend!  I've been talking about organizing the kids play room for a year and I finally decided to go and do it!  I was a tab bit disappointed!  I had picked out white baskets for the Ikea expedit book shelf and of course they don't carry them.  Ugh!  I wasn't too fond of the wicker ones or the black fabric ones.  The wicker ones cost $20 each and I needed 8 and I just couldn't justify spending $160 on baskets when I didn't love them!  So we settled for the less attractive black fabric ones!  And finally our play room is organized!  I went through all the kids toys and hucked out all the broken and little pieces!  My pet peeve is toys that come with little pieces!  The kids never play with them and they just end up taking up space and getting lost or I'll find them under the couch.  So I hucked out most of the small little toys (little hay bales, little men figurines, McDonald's toys etc).

Before

After

Now i just need to find some art for the walls!  One day I'll have a beautiful dining room with a gorgeous table and it will always be staged and I'll have a hutch filled with mismatched vintage dishes.  But until then it will remain the play room!

Kevin was ever so kind and patient to stop at HomeSense in Coquitlam.  I was like a mad woman in that store grabbing things off the shelf left, right and center.  I was kid free, my cart was empty and I had the whole store to myself!!!  When I walked in my heart started to race and I could feel myself starting to panic.  Where do I start?  Needless to say it was a successful day!  And they even had the silver end table I was looking for for London's room!  I have one in my room and I love the look of it.  They had the exact same one there but I decided to go with the more simple looking one (and it was $20 cheaper) which ended up being a mistake because the next day I ended up having to drive all the way back to HomeSense in Coquitlam to exchange it for the other one) but I was still thrilled to finally have it!  Home Sense did not disappoint!  I got a bunch of little knick knacks and accessories mostly for Lincoln's room and I loved everything I got!  I love Restoration Hardware but there stuff can be quite pricey.  I ended up getting a bunch of stuff that looks so similar to the stuff I wanted from Restoration Hardware:-)

Restoration Hardware

HomeSense

Restoration Hardware

HomeSense

I finally have 1 section of Lincoln's room decorated:

 I bought two star hooks to go on the left side of his dresser from Cozy Home and I just need to hang them (or maybe I'll be able to bribe Kevin to hang them).  They are the same ones Nate has in his room:

Oh how I love Home Sense!  And the thrill of finding what you want!

And a sweet bouquet of flowers for London's room:-)  I can't wait to have her room complete!  We found the perfect chandelier for her room and now all I need is some pictures for her walls!

I was having trouble deciding what to put on the wall in our foyer.  I bought picture frames from Ikea but then it seemed like we had way too many framed pictures in the house.  So then we decided on art.  But now I needed to find the perfect art piece.  And then today it happened.  I was at Cozy Home in Abbotsford picking up the two star hooks I bought for Lincoln's room when I came across the perfect piece.  I bought it without hesitation.

I know they aren't the best pictures but I love the colors in it (it's got shades of grey and silver in it)!   I also found the perfect pillows for my chair upstairs:

Ahhh I love that I'm finally getting abit closer to having this house decorated.  I've made a list of all the things I need to buy and it feels so good to finally start crossing some of those things off!

And on a side note-I just learned that my Instagram "followers" can view ALL of my instagram photos!  Holy moly!  I instagram EVERYTHING!!!!  If I knew that I'd probably not instragram everything so much!!!!

Big Decision

Today I have decided...

dum dum dum...

to grow my hair long!

And when I told Kevin I think he almost broke down in tears!  And I'm pretty sure the angels in his head started rejoicing and singing hallelujah!  And I know he started having these visions:

Visions of me with long, blond, curly hair.  I'll never forget the way he looked at me that day:-)  He was smitten!

Now to actually start the growing out process...the first stage is always the hardest.  I'm doing this for you babe:-)

1 Month Comparrison

Lincoln 1 month

Nathan 1 month

London 1 month

Just Another One of "Those" Days!

Ugh!  Today was one of "those" days!  I was in a hurry to get out of the house.  The kids were not.

The boarder line-up was ridiculous and London was screaming. 

HomeSense was a gong show.

The kids kept walking in front of the stroller, I kept hitting them which resulted in them falling to the ground crying.

Today I lacked sympathy and patience.

I rolled my eyes one to many times.

And the straw that broke the camels back...catching Nate for the fifteenth billion time picking the pleather (yes pleather) off the dining room chairs.  Yes Nathan, I know our chairs are ghetto but please don't add to the problem (note to self...must find new dining room chairs pronto!)

It's now nap time.

And some good that came out of today...

Lincoln calls him "Bud" and then tells him he's his best friend.  This is BEFORE they tripped and hit the pavement.  Lincoln ripped a hole in his jeans and hurt his knee.  Cue three crying kids here!

London's 7 Week Stats

London's 7 Week Stats

Weight: 9 pounds 7 ounces

Length: 21.25 inches

Birth Weight: 6 pounds 7 ounces

Birth Length: 19.5 inches

We just love her:-)

Zoo Day

Today was one of those days you want to high five God and everyone around you.  Today my kids rocked!  No whining, no crying, no fighting...it was a little taste of heaven.  I just wanted to shout "ya these well behaved kids are mine"-compared to my normal "oh my gosh who's kid is that crying in the isle...oh ya mine!" 

Kev was away this weekend and cabin fever was starting to set in and the sun was calling our name so we headed to the zoo.  It's not the greatest zoo but the kids loved it.  We spent 3.5 hours there and my sweet precious little angel slept the whole time.  It's the only time she'll sleep in the afternoon-long car ride=long nap.  That girl loves her car seat (and sleeping in my arms).

Today was such a good day.  And it just goes to show that just because you have 3 kids doesn't mean you have to stop doing the things you love.  My kids slow me down (and not in a bad way).  That's inevitable.  I have three mouths to feed, three kids to dress and 3 more people to get out the door.  It's a good feeling to know I can still rock it! 

My Decision to Attempt a VBAC

My decision to attempt a vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean) didn’t come lightly. As you may remember I was dead set on having a scheduled c-section for three reasons.

1. I had major anxiety over my uterus rupturing.

2. One doctor told me a c-section was the safest for my baby.

And...

3. I have big babies. With Lincoln being 5 weeks early (and weighing in at 6 pounds 13 ounces) and Nate being 8 days late (weighing in at 9 pounds 4 ounces) I really didn’t want to go through the process again of being late and trying to deliver a baby that was too big. I had made the decision long before I became pregnant with London. In fact right after Nathan was born I said I’d have another c-section. And when we decided to have another baby I didn’t even factor in the age difference between the second and third even if I wanted to attempt a vbac. And for the most part my c-section was a great experience (minus not being fully frozen) but either than that my c-section was great…how could it not be…I delivered a beautiful and healthy 9 pound 4 ounce baby boy.

It was probably half way through my pregnancy when the topic of a vbac was brought up with my doctor-her advice was try for one and she was living proof that vbac’s can be successful and that I didn’t need to wait 24 months in between both births. In fact she was quite encouraging. I was intrigued but didn’t want to get my hopes up. And I have to admit there was that part of me that did want to push out a baby one last time but I didn’t want to go there in my head because I didn’t want to set myself up for disappointment if it didn’t happen. Not that having a c-section would have been disappointing or the end of the world but lets face it…recovering from a vaginal birth can be a lot easier than recovering from a c-section-especially with 2 little ones at home already! Because of London’s heart and my cervix I was going every 2 weeks for ultrasounds and meeting with different specialists and doctors and they were all very encouraging towards a vbac. In fact when my maternity doctors got their final report it said I was a great candidate for a vbac. I still wanted to meet with the surgeon who would be doing my c-section and to my surprise he was pro-vbac and suggested I book my c-section date closer to my due date if not after my due date so that I could attempt a vaginal birth.

I have to say I was somewhat uneducated when it came to a vbac-little did I know there was less than a 1% chance of my uterus rupturing. I found that fact somewhat comforting but at the same time someone has to be that one percent and I knew that could be me. I knew the deciding factor would be the size of the baby. With both my boys my stomach started to measure larger once I hit the 30 week mark. With the advice of my doctors I was scheduled to have an ultrasound on Dec. 21 to measure the baby to see if a vbac would be possible. I ended up cancelling that appointment 2 days prior because at 37 weeks I was measuring 37 centimetres and according to my maternity doctors my baby still felt small. I had decided that if I were to go into labour early and since the baby was measuring small I would attempt a vbac…there that was my decision!  And if I ended up needing a c-section I knew it would be for medical reasons and for the safety of my baby and I. I still had a c-section date booked but we changed it from January 2 to January 6 (my due date was January 7). I wasn’t willing to go over for personal reasons and I felt content with my decision.

This decision wasn’t something I wanted to blog about or share with a lot of people…mainly because I didn’t want my decision swayed by others views and opinions. I wanted to make my own decision (which is very unlike me because I can be so indecisive). And I think deep deep deep down inside I really really really wanted to deliver a baby vaginally one last time but for me I really needed to prepare myself mentally for a c-section because it is a different experience (in my opinion) than delivering vaginally. I also think it’s a very personal decision.

I will admit that once I was sitting in the rocking chair in the delivery room I started to have major anxiety about child birth-both vbac and c-section. I didn’t want to make a decision that was going to put my baby’s life or my life at risk. I had major fears and quite honestly didn’t know what to do! I had already told the doctor’s and nurses I would attempt a vbac and I knew I could back out at any time but I still had that fear of something happening. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and once the oxytocin kicked in and I started contracting I thought for sure my uterus was going to burst open and the baby and I were going to die. Not positive thinking I know but the thought of that weighed heavily on my mind and I didn’t know if maybe attempting a vbacoxytocin (which I hadn’t received with my two prior births). One minute I was feeling great and the next minute I’m in excruciating pain. And because I was attempting a vbac they monitored the baby’s heart the whole time so it was re-assuring knowing she was OK.

My VBAC experience was beautiful. In my opinion (key word being MY) there is just something beautiful and amazing about pushing out a baby. Now I’m not saying having a c-section isn’t as beautiful because it is but for me it’s a different type of beautiful. I can’t even explain it. And the image that I’ll never forget is pulling my babies body out of my own and placing her on my chest. It was magical. It was joyous. It was everything I could have ever imagined or dreamed of and more. I feel blessed to have had a successful vbac and with this most likely being my last baby and I don’t think her birth could have been any more perfect or beautiful! All my baby’s births were beautiful and perfect in their own way and at the end of the day all that matters is that my baby’s were born healthy. I can’t stress that enough. No matter how they entered this world...they were/are healthy and happy!

And as for my D&C after her birth…I still think my VBAC was worth it! If I had a c-section I most likely wouldn’t have had to have a D&C. And as scary as the situation was the recovery from the vbac and D&C was great (and after the D&C I didn’t feel any different). I was a tad bit worried that I had put my life in danger by having a vbac and bleeding so badly after but my doctors reassured me that it was quite normal and that I was still better of having a vbac and a D&C then having a c-section (in his opinion). And if I had to do it all over again I would!

The topic of c-sections and vbac’s is one that I’ve talked about quite frequently with friends (seeing as most of us have had c-sections) and at the end of the day it’s such a personal decision. And I think it’s a decision that shouldn’t be judged by others. I know I was afraid that once I decided that I would attempt a vbac that I was going to be judged and that others would think I was making a selfish decision. I don’t know why I thought that-I think it stemmed from my own insecurities! And I almost felt as if I needed to defend my decision and I didn’t want that.  I prayed about over and over again and I knew if anything happened I was in a good place and would be rushed in for a c-section if there was any risk to the baby or I.  And I knew at the end of the day I was the one that would have to live with my decision.  Well the decisions have been made and I am happy to say that I am content with my decisions:-)