Nathan Jax-His Birth Story

Today my baby boy turned 6 months old.  It’s hard to believe it’s been 6 months already!  Every day when I look down at my belly and see my scar I am reminded of his birth.  It’s not an ugly scar it’s a beautiful scar.  It’s a scar that tells the story of how my baby came into this world.  Was it the way I thought my baby would come into this world...no...but none the less he is here and he is healthy and THATS what’s important.  So today on Nathan’s 6 month birthday I sit here and reminiscence on the day he was born and the day I found out I was pregnant and oh what a day that was! 

In the early mornings of July 25, 2009 my best friend gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl, a few hours later I found out I was pregnant and later that afternoon our friends got married.  I can’t even begin to tell you the excitement I felt the moment I saw that faint positive sign on that pregnancy test.  It didn’t show up at first and I hung my head in disappointment then remembered that it can take up to two minutes for a positive result...it was then I that I looked at the test again and saw the faintest positive sign.  The emotions that rushed through my body were like no other.  In that instant I had fallen in love with this little tiny sprinkle that was nestled inside my body. To explain those emotions is impossible-only a mother knows the joys of what it is like to find out she’s pregnant.  I love that feeling and if I could bottle up those emotions and re-live them over and over again I would. 

A few weeks after I found out I was pregnant I had a scare-the thought of losing my baby was unimaginable.  I was in love beyond words.  I hadn’t even seen his face, I hadn’t even held his hand, I hadn’t felt his beating heart against mine, I hadn’t looked deep into his eyes or kissed his sweet sweet lips but I was in love and wasn’t ready to let go!  God heard my cries and answered my prayers and my precious little baby was OK.  Seeing that beating little heart in the ultrasound brought tears to my eyes...he was OK...he was really OK.  I needed that...I needed to see his little heart beating and that he was nestled inside my little body...content and happy and healthy.




I think my friend Kacey said it best: "a picture only a mother could love"

 

Fast forward 40 weeks and 6 days and I was sitting in the doctor’s office ready to be induced (after several failed sweeping membrane attempts).  I was given cervidel and told I should be in labour within 12 hours.  We phoned my mom and told her we were going to be dropping Lincoln off.  We went home, packed Lincoln's bag and Kev drove him to my parents place.  I cleaned like a mad woman.  I packed my bag and I waited...something had to happen.  Kev and I enjoyed our last dinner together...at A&W.  I devoured a mozza burger, onion rings, root beer in a frosted glass and a hot apple pie...it was like my last meal.  We went home and watched tv and waited and waited and waited.  14 hours later I was sitting in the living room throwing myself a pity party when I finally had my first real strong contraction followed by another and another. It was time...it was finally time!  And the excitement of telling my husband it’s time to go...it’s time to finally meet our baby...oh it was perfect...well somewhat labour pains are somewhat nasty.  By the time we got to the hospital I was convinced I was 9 cm dialated...I had to be the pain was so intense.  I phoned my mom and told her to get her ass down here to the hospital because this baby was coming...only to be told a few minutes later that I was really only 2-3 cm dialled...uh ya I had been 2-3 cm dialated for 3 weeks now.  Not exactly the answer I was looking for but at least I was in labour.  Being taken to my room was surreal and seeing the warming table and thinking “wow this is where they are going to put my baby when he’s born” brought tears to my eyes..we were finally going to meet him.  After 10 hours of labour I finally received an epidural...hallelujah praise the Lord I couldn’t have done it without one.  When the anesthesiologists looked  into my eyes to let me know he had finally arrived I have to say I fell in love with that man.  After the slightest pinch (and I mean slightest) I was finally pain free and loving every minute of it.  To labour without pain is heavenly...it truly is!  By 9p.m. I was 10 cm.  I kicked everyone out of my room, dimmed the lights down low and pushed...it was just me and the nurse.  I wanted a moment by myself in a dark room.  A moment to take everything in.  Kev soon rejoined me and I pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed-2.5 hours to be exact only to be told I had made no progress.  His head was too big.  Hearing I had to have a c-section wasn’t exactly the most exciting news.  In fact I was somewhat devastated and defeated but knew it was my only option.  I just didn’t want to die and leave my family motherless and wifeless and most importantly I wanted my baby to be ok!  I talked to Chrissy and I remember her telling me that everything was going to be OK and I knew she was right. 

I remember feeling disappointed, and I remember feeling scared.  I remember the ride to the OR room and the pain I felt.  I remember how the doctors and nurses took their sweet ass time prepping me while I lied there in agonizing pain.  I remember the doctor pinching me and me telling him I can feel that.  I remember Kevin walking into the room all dressed in scrubs.  I remember the doctor pinching me again and telling him again I can still feel that.  I remember the anesthesiologists looking at the doctor and nodding his head and saying “go ahead”.  I remember not being fully frozen.  I remember the tugging and pulling.  I remember that feeling when he was pulled out.  I remember hearing my baby cry! I remember how supportive Kevin was.  I remember him telling me he was beautiful, “tab he’s so beautiful.”  I remember crying the warmest sweetest tears I have every cried.  I remember the world stopped for just a moment so I could take it all in and I mean really take it all in.   I remember seeing him for the first time and being so thankful that they didn’t tie my arms down like they said they would.  I remember looking into his eyes and falling in love with him all over again.  I remember kissing his sweet sweet lips.  I remember telling him how much I loved him.  I remember the emotions like it was yesterday.  I remember not wanting that moment to end.  I even remember the moment they told me his weight...9 pounds 4 ounces.  I remembering think “well of course I couldn’t deliver him naturally.” 



Meeting my baby for the first time!



To some Nathan’s birth story may not be ideal in fact it may the complete opposite of what they want to experience.  But to me it was perfect...perfect in every way.  Yes I lost a lot of blood yes I felt ALOT of pain but when I think of his birth I don’t dwell on those things.  How lucky am I to have been able to experience my childs birth and to be able to hold him and hug him and kiss him and tell him that I love him.  I’ll never forget those moments and I’ve got my beautiful scar to remind me of those moments every day.  There were parts of my delivery that were less than enjoyable but would I do it all over again...yes in a heartbeat.  I have so much to be thankful for when it comes to Nathan’s delivery.  And it is those moments that I choose to be thankful for.

In recovery I got to hold my baby.  I got to introduce him to my mom who by the way thought he was a girl.  I got to nurse him.  Oh what a joyous moment it was when he latched.  I can’t even describe how wonderful that moment was.  That babe was born to breastfeed (literally).  I battled with breastfeeding with Lincoln who wouldn’t latch because he was a preemie and to have a baby latch was wonderful.  Waiting in recovery once Kev and Nate went back to our room was like Christmas morning when you are like 10 but even more exciting.  I don’t know if it was the combination of the drugs and excitement of having a baby but I was on the highest cloud you could float on.  I thanked the nurses over and over and over again.  I told them how excited I was over and over and over again.  I asked them over and over again “is it time to go back to my room yet” and when it was I was giddy with excitement!  Phoning our friends and family and telling them of the arrival of our little boy was exciting to say the least.  The best thing I ever did was not allow any visitors until the morning.  Was I excited for our family and friends to meet our newest addition...yes...I couldn’t wait but I wanted that time with him.  That time to snuggle and bond and not have to share him with anyone.  That time to just spend hours and hours staring into his eyes loving him.  That time to watch him sleep knowing he was MINE all mine (and well Kevin’s;-)  I didn’t sleep a wink that night.  I had endured 18 hours of labour and a c-section and I wasn’t one bit tired.  I was in love and going to enjoy every second with my new baby.  When the nurses came into check on me she told me I should be sleeping...I told her I couldn’t I was too excited and in love.  I just loved him.  That morning little baby Nate and I saw the sun come up while Kev slept like a baby.  I was filled with anticipation and excitement for our first visitors which happened to be Kev’s brother.  I was excited to show my baby off and I was even more excited for my boys to finally meet.  The moment Lincoln walked through the door will be a moment I will never forget.  He had his teddy bear for his little brother and white roses for me and he was shy.  He didn’t quite know what to expect or what was going on.  I remember the unsurity in his little face and how he clung to my mom.  I remember when he saw his little brother for the first time.  Magical.  Friends and family finally trickled into my room...and they came to love my baby and love my baby is what they did.  They loved him.  They cuddled him.  They kissed him.  I remember the love that filled the room.  As a momma we wait our whole lives for moments like these.  I remember thinking my life was perfect.



Lincoln meeting his brother for the first time.



And my life still is perfect.  And every day I thank the Lord for my two beautiful baby boys and I love them more and more each day.  Nathan has brought such love to our family.  He may only be 6 months old but in 6 months he has changed our lives for the better.  And today I celebrate his birth and remember all those special memories about the day he came into the world-they will forever be etched in my memory.  And today I share his birth story with the world because it truly is a beautiful story.  Baby Nate you are truly loved!




Nathan on his 6 month birthday

 

I must end this post with a very special thanks to my husband...I couldn't have done this without him.  To say he was the best labor coach would be an understatement.  Thank you Kevin for your love and support and for helping me through the good times and bad.  And thank you for giving me two precious little boys!  Thank you!  This is what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving:




MY FAMILY!!!
I am truly blessed!