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Saturday, September 10, 2011
My New Dream Kitchen
When we decided to move I knew I wanted espresso cabinets. Then I changed my mind and wanted white cabinets (this is very typical of me to be so indecisive). Kev was the deciding factor and he said no to white cabinets. So espresso it was. And I've been very happy with them. In fact this morning I said "I love my kitchen so much. I am so happy we went with espresso cabinets." And then I came across this kitchen...and I've fallen in love with it...this is my new dream kitchen!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Day 1
Day 1. At home. For a month. On semi-bed rest.
Deep breathe. I'm a big ball of nerves. I'm a wreck. I was good on Thursday. Good on Friday. And melted down on Saturday. I think it took awhile for everything to sink in. It's been really crazy. I'm struggling to stay positive. You never really think you are going to be the one that has problems in your pregnancy. Of course I always knew that things could happen but you really don't picture yourself and your baby in a fragile state. It still doesn't feel real at times.
On Saturday night Kevin and I went out to Vancouver on a much needed date/re-do of our anniversary (not that a McDonald's picnic in the park with the kids followed by a week long of sickness wasn't awesome). It was great to get out. There was this palm reader on the side of the road. I've never been interested in a palm reading, fortune teller or anything of that sort but I was kinda hoping and wishing maybe that palm reader was a gift from God sent from above to read my palm and tell me everything was going to be ok. Uncertainty kills me. I know she probably wasn't. Well actually I don't know if their hokus pokus looking into the future voodoo is a gift from God (I mean it could be) but I'm just not a believer in those things. Right now I'll be riding on a lot of faith, hope and prayers!
You know who is a gift from God?...Dr. Shaw. That woman is an angel sent from God to ease pregnant mama's minds. That woman is amazing. Beyond amazing really. And through all my tears and fears she say's to me "your suppose to worry, your a mother." Thank you! It's true! And that woman just has a way of making a horrible situation into a better situation. She just knows the right words to say. She knows how to put me (somewhat) at ease. And quite honestly she spoke to my heart. I do thank the Lord for her (and Dr. Nyvall and Dr. Driedger). Those doctor's are a blessing.
So...I have been put on semi-bed rest. Not complete-don't move or get out of bed kinda bed rest but the lay down and don't do much but relax and take it real easy kind. This is new to me. I'm not a sit around and do nothing type of girl. In fact I can think of a million things I could be doing right now but at this point I know that I need to do whatever it takes to keep this little one nestled inside of me. I was told that 28 weeks would be ideal. It's crazy. 28 weeks! 28 weeks for someone with a normal pregnancy...well that doesn't seem too far away. But 28 weeks for someone that is only 22.5 weeks pregnant seems like an eternity. And the even crazier thing is all this worrying could be for nothing. I could just have a short cervix and I could end up being 2 weeks late. And all I can do right now is wait. And I don't like waiting. God is definitely teaching my the power of patience-something that will come in handy with 3 little ones.
I know there will be valuable lessons learned from this experience. God is in control. I am not (that's probably the best lesson). I know I will learn to be patient. I will learn to trust and have faith. I will learn to try and be strong (not so easy at this point). And I will learn to take each day as a gift from God. I know everything happens for a reason and I know God never gives you more than you can handle.
I know this month isn't going to be easy. And I already have mixed emotions about being home. Work for me was a place where I could go, be busy and try and forget about what was going on. But this situation hasn't been an easy one to put aside while at work. I feel guilty for leaving work. I know they are busy and I know now that everyone else has to pick up my work. But I also know that this little baby and my health are what's most important right now. And like I said before...there is nothing I wouldn't do to keep this little one inside of me!
I am truly blessed for the help that we do have. Kev works from home so he can help out and my mom is only a phone call away (and the boys loving spending time with her and my dad).
And on a happier note...my cervix is "stable." Still short but hasn't shortened. I'll be back in two weeks to see if the progesterone pills I'm on are doing their job and to make sure everything is still good. At this point I do feel a little better. I just want some piece of mind and maybe a crystal ball to see into the future!
Deep breathe. I'm a big ball of nerves. I'm a wreck. I was good on Thursday. Good on Friday. And melted down on Saturday. I think it took awhile for everything to sink in. It's been really crazy. I'm struggling to stay positive. You never really think you are going to be the one that has problems in your pregnancy. Of course I always knew that things could happen but you really don't picture yourself and your baby in a fragile state. It still doesn't feel real at times.
On Saturday night Kevin and I went out to Vancouver on a much needed date/re-do of our anniversary (not that a McDonald's picnic in the park with the kids followed by a week long of sickness wasn't awesome). It was great to get out. There was this palm reader on the side of the road. I've never been interested in a palm reading, fortune teller or anything of that sort but I was kinda hoping and wishing maybe that palm reader was a gift from God sent from above to read my palm and tell me everything was going to be ok. Uncertainty kills me. I know she probably wasn't. Well actually I don't know if their hokus pokus looking into the future voodoo is a gift from God (I mean it could be) but I'm just not a believer in those things. Right now I'll be riding on a lot of faith, hope and prayers!
You know who is a gift from God?...Dr. Shaw. That woman is an angel sent from God to ease pregnant mama's minds. That woman is amazing. Beyond amazing really. And through all my tears and fears she say's to me "your suppose to worry, your a mother." Thank you! It's true! And that woman just has a way of making a horrible situation into a better situation. She just knows the right words to say. She knows how to put me (somewhat) at ease. And quite honestly she spoke to my heart. I do thank the Lord for her (and Dr. Nyvall and Dr. Driedger). Those doctor's are a blessing.
So...I have been put on semi-bed rest. Not complete-don't move or get out of bed kinda bed rest but the lay down and don't do much but relax and take it real easy kind. This is new to me. I'm not a sit around and do nothing type of girl. In fact I can think of a million things I could be doing right now but at this point I know that I need to do whatever it takes to keep this little one nestled inside of me. I was told that 28 weeks would be ideal. It's crazy. 28 weeks! 28 weeks for someone with a normal pregnancy...well that doesn't seem too far away. But 28 weeks for someone that is only 22.5 weeks pregnant seems like an eternity. And the even crazier thing is all this worrying could be for nothing. I could just have a short cervix and I could end up being 2 weeks late. And all I can do right now is wait. And I don't like waiting. God is definitely teaching my the power of patience-something that will come in handy with 3 little ones.
I know there will be valuable lessons learned from this experience. God is in control. I am not (that's probably the best lesson). I know I will learn to be patient. I will learn to trust and have faith. I will learn to try and be strong (not so easy at this point). And I will learn to take each day as a gift from God. I know everything happens for a reason and I know God never gives you more than you can handle.
I know this month isn't going to be easy. And I already have mixed emotions about being home. Work for me was a place where I could go, be busy and try and forget about what was going on. But this situation hasn't been an easy one to put aside while at work. I feel guilty for leaving work. I know they are busy and I know now that everyone else has to pick up my work. But I also know that this little baby and my health are what's most important right now. And like I said before...there is nothing I wouldn't do to keep this little one inside of me!
I am truly blessed for the help that we do have. Kev works from home so he can help out and my mom is only a phone call away (and the boys loving spending time with her and my dad).
And on a happier note...my cervix is "stable." Still short but hasn't shortened. I'll be back in two weeks to see if the progesterone pills I'm on are doing their job and to make sure everything is still good. At this point I do feel a little better. I just want some piece of mind and maybe a crystal ball to see into the future!
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Some Things That Will Never Get Old
Just a Few Things That Will Never Get Old:
*Date night with the hubby
*Holding hands
*Feeling a kicking baby
*Kissing my sleeping babies good night
*Laughing
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Baby Update
I can't even began to tell all of you how blessed I feel for all the thoughts and prayers! I teared up reading each and everyone of them! From the bottom of my heart thank you thank you thank you!!!!! Oh it meant so much to me:-) I really did appreciate it!
Our little ones heart looks good (praise the Lord)! The baby looks good and we were able to breathe a huge sigh of relief! There is still fluid around the baby's heart but it's at a high normal level and the fetal heart specialist says it's nothing for them to be too concerned about. I will be going back in 4 weeks to have the baby's heart looked at again to make sure everything is still ok. Phew!
They did however find a new problem. My cervix is short. It's measuring 1.8cm and a normal cervix should be 2-4cm. If this was my first ultrasound they said they wouldn't have been too concerned but because I had one two weeks ago and it was measuring 3.6 cm they are quite worried about how much it's shortened in just two weeks! So now that means I'm at a high risk of delivering preterm. Not good! I go in a week to have it measured again and I'm praying and praying and praying it does not get any shorter!
All this uncertainty is driving me crazy! But I do have to say one thing...BC Woman's Hospital is absolutely amazing!!!!!! And they are so thorough! If it wasn't for them being so thorough I would have never known about my cervix being so short! And ALL the people we dealt with there were over the top AMAZING!!!!!! And they took their time and explained everything! And the best part...they tell you the results right then and there (I don't do well with having to wait)! The fetal heart specialist came right into the ultrasound room and told us what he was seeing as he was doing the ultrasound and we got to watch our little blessing on the screen the whole time!
I'll admit I'm worried (really really really worried). I wasn't at first just because Lincoln was 5 weeks early and healthy and Nate was 8 days late and healthy. But once they said I could have traumatized my cervix while trying for 3.5 hours to push out my 9lb 4oz Nathan I got worried! I still kinda think I'm in shock. We got the great news that the baby's heart looks good and I was on cloud 9 and then the doctor came back into the room and told us this! No mama wants to have to worry about delivering early especially since I'm only 22 weeks pregnant. I'll be heading back next week so that they can check my cervix again and I'm hoping and praying it doesn't get any shorter! I don't even think I know WHAT to think. In fact I'm kinda shocked. I'm a worrier, I'm a panicker and in that moment I think I kinda went numb. I wanted to celebrate the good news and I really don't think I wanted to hear the bad news. Even while we were waiting to speak to the doctor's about this I stayed calm (and I'm not a "stay calm" type of person). Maybe I just know this is completely out of my hands. I know I'm not in control. And after all we went through these last two weeks I think my faith is strengthened and that's a good thing. I just don't want to worry any more. And I most importantly just want a happy and healthy baby! And I know sometimes things don't work out like we planned them too. Sometimes as woman we end up needing drugs during delivery and that wasn't part of our birth plan or sometimes we have c-sections. But at the end of the day what's most important when having a baby is...health! Seriously! These last two weeks have put things into perspective for me! I don't care how much pain I need to go through or if I have another c-section. I don't care if I have to lay in bed for weeks and weeks and weeks (all though that would suck). All that matters is that my baby comes out healthy. Period. Boy, Girl I don't care I just want a healthy baby and a healthy pregnancy. I don't want to take anything for granted. So please other mama's out there...let's remember at the end of the day a healthy baby is what is most important!!!!!
Seeing this little one made my day.
As soon as this beautiful and perfect little profile popped up on the screen I started to cry! I couldn't help it! Is their a greater blessing than the gift of life? I know I'm biased but this little one is perfect. And I kinda had to smile every time the doctor's and technician said how beautiful and pretty our baby was. I know they say that to every one but in that moment I truly believed that they actually thought my baby was the most beautiful baby they'd ever seen! This baby has the most perfect little feet and hands and kidney and heart. And hearing the squishing of the little heart beat put me at ease!
I still do ask/beg for prayers. I know it's a weird prayer request to ask people to pray for my cervix:-) but I really really really don't want to delivery this baby early! And again I really appreciated all the sweet comments and prayers! Thank you all so much! xoxo
Our little ones heart looks good (praise the Lord)! The baby looks good and we were able to breathe a huge sigh of relief! There is still fluid around the baby's heart but it's at a high normal level and the fetal heart specialist says it's nothing for them to be too concerned about. I will be going back in 4 weeks to have the baby's heart looked at again to make sure everything is still ok. Phew!
They did however find a new problem. My cervix is short. It's measuring 1.8cm and a normal cervix should be 2-4cm. If this was my first ultrasound they said they wouldn't have been too concerned but because I had one two weeks ago and it was measuring 3.6 cm they are quite worried about how much it's shortened in just two weeks! So now that means I'm at a high risk of delivering preterm. Not good! I go in a week to have it measured again and I'm praying and praying and praying it does not get any shorter!
All this uncertainty is driving me crazy! But I do have to say one thing...BC Woman's Hospital is absolutely amazing!!!!!! And they are so thorough! If it wasn't for them being so thorough I would have never known about my cervix being so short! And ALL the people we dealt with there were over the top AMAZING!!!!!! And they took their time and explained everything! And the best part...they tell you the results right then and there (I don't do well with having to wait)! The fetal heart specialist came right into the ultrasound room and told us what he was seeing as he was doing the ultrasound and we got to watch our little blessing on the screen the whole time!
I'll admit I'm worried (really really really worried). I wasn't at first just because Lincoln was 5 weeks early and healthy and Nate was 8 days late and healthy. But once they said I could have traumatized my cervix while trying for 3.5 hours to push out my 9lb 4oz Nathan I got worried! I still kinda think I'm in shock. We got the great news that the baby's heart looks good and I was on cloud 9 and then the doctor came back into the room and told us this! No mama wants to have to worry about delivering early especially since I'm only 22 weeks pregnant. I'll be heading back next week so that they can check my cervix again and I'm hoping and praying it doesn't get any shorter! I don't even think I know WHAT to think. In fact I'm kinda shocked. I'm a worrier, I'm a panicker and in that moment I think I kinda went numb. I wanted to celebrate the good news and I really don't think I wanted to hear the bad news. Even while we were waiting to speak to the doctor's about this I stayed calm (and I'm not a "stay calm" type of person). Maybe I just know this is completely out of my hands. I know I'm not in control. And after all we went through these last two weeks I think my faith is strengthened and that's a good thing. I just don't want to worry any more. And I most importantly just want a happy and healthy baby! And I know sometimes things don't work out like we planned them too. Sometimes as woman we end up needing drugs during delivery and that wasn't part of our birth plan or sometimes we have c-sections. But at the end of the day what's most important when having a baby is...health! Seriously! These last two weeks have put things into perspective for me! I don't care how much pain I need to go through or if I have another c-section. I don't care if I have to lay in bed for weeks and weeks and weeks (all though that would suck). All that matters is that my baby comes out healthy. Period. Boy, Girl I don't care I just want a healthy baby and a healthy pregnancy. I don't want to take anything for granted. So please other mama's out there...let's remember at the end of the day a healthy baby is what is most important!!!!!
Seeing this little one made my day.
As soon as this beautiful and perfect little profile popped up on the screen I started to cry! I couldn't help it! Is their a greater blessing than the gift of life? I know I'm biased but this little one is perfect. And I kinda had to smile every time the doctor's and technician said how beautiful and pretty our baby was. I know they say that to every one but in that moment I truly believed that they actually thought my baby was the most beautiful baby they'd ever seen! This baby has the most perfect little feet and hands and kidney and heart. And hearing the squishing of the little heart beat put me at ease!
I still do ask/beg for prayers. I know it's a weird prayer request to ask people to pray for my cervix:-) but I really really really don't want to delivery this baby early! And again I really appreciated all the sweet comments and prayers! Thank you all so much! xoxo
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Please Pray
Please pray for out sweet little one!
I will be heading to BC Woman's Hospital tomorrow morning for an ultrasound on our babies heart. Our last ultrasound showed some fluid around the heart.
These last two weeks have been rough. But I have faith. And I believe in God and in the power of prayer. And I know during this time I'm not walking this path alone.
I will be heading to BC Woman's Hospital tomorrow morning for an ultrasound on our babies heart. Our last ultrasound showed some fluid around the heart.
These last two weeks have been rough. But I have faith. And I believe in God and in the power of prayer. And I know during this time I'm not walking this path alone.
"My precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Half Way There
Last week marked the half way point! 20 down 20 more to go (well actually 19 to go but you get the point)!
Belly comparison:
And 20 week ultrasound comparison:
Love all three:-)
Belly comparison:
 |
| 20 weeks with Lincoln |
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| 20 weeks with Nathan |
 |
| 20 weeks with baby #3 |
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| Lincoln |
 |
| Nathan |
 |
| Baby #3 |
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Retail Therapy
Sometimes I like to shop as if I have endless amounts of cash! I think it's a sickness and then I see my account and I have one of those "Oh %^&% where the heck did my money go?" moments. I've had a few of those lately. It just feels so good to spend money! In fact Kev put me on a "major purchase buying" freeze until we get a new car. Hence this is why I don't have my new headboard...yet. I will add that he hasn't frozen his account because I see some nice new underground sprinklers, fresh turf, new pressure washer and now he's talking about getting a trailer...to haul stuff in (what stuff I don't know) but he says he needs one!
Any ways I'm back to buying house stuff. I've been to Hudson Madison, Winners/Home Sense, Cozy Home and all the other little shops in Abbotsford trying to find the perfect house accessories. I'm slowly getting there! Today's finds were these cute little hooks from Cozy Home. They are going in Nate's room (although I'm sure it'll take Kev a few months to get them hung up:-) I was a little unsure about the two different color hooks but they didn't have two of a kind. Once I got them home I think they'll actually look quite cute with the two different colors!
I also found these candle holders for our bedroom from Cozy Home:
I know I could have found something similar for way less at Home Sense but I've been looking and haven't had any luck! Now I just need some candles!
And chirpy (Lincoln's bird from Maui) has found his way into our home. I know the bird should probably be in the cage but I loved how Urban Barn had the orchid set up in the bird cage!
Any ways I'm back to buying house stuff. I've been to Hudson Madison, Winners/Home Sense, Cozy Home and all the other little shops in Abbotsford trying to find the perfect house accessories. I'm slowly getting there! Today's finds were these cute little hooks from Cozy Home. They are going in Nate's room (although I'm sure it'll take Kev a few months to get them hung up:-) I was a little unsure about the two different color hooks but they didn't have two of a kind. Once I got them home I think they'll actually look quite cute with the two different colors!
I also found these candle holders for our bedroom from Cozy Home:
I know I could have found something similar for way less at Home Sense but I've been looking and haven't had any luck! Now I just need some candles!
And chirpy (Lincoln's bird from Maui) has found his way into our home. I know the bird should probably be in the cage but I loved how Urban Barn had the orchid set up in the bird cage!
Sometimes when I'm a little indecisive about things I buy and I'm not quite sure if it goes or if it was really what I was looking for, I find it helps when I take a picture of it and then see what everything looks like in a picture! I only wish my picture taking skills were as good as others! I love when people take pics of rooms in their house and it just looks so complete and perfect (maybe that's why I love this blog so much (http://www.maillardvillemanor.com/p/house-tour_17.html). Her rooms are just so complete and perfect! Everything has a place and nothing looks cluttered! I want to be able to take pictures of the rooms in my house and see that completeness in them! Work in progress, work in progress, work in progress:-)
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